i officially have no life right now

yes, its true (referring to above title).
i STILL have assignment deadlines to meet. im turning into a robot minus the intelligence. I wonder if its good or bad that im home 98% of the time and im in school during the remaining 2%. I think my credit card bill is practically spotless this month.

I never used to really write deadlines down and tick them off when im done with each of them. But now, it gives me immense satisfaction and glee to do so. I feel like im gaining my life and breath back with every tick/cross.

come monday, and i will be freed of another assignment. :)

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starsightings

Recalling the stars i seen the other night on valentine’s day…

wish we could lie back and read the stars together.

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School has been extremely tiring with the stupid work integrated learning module/workshop this week. The assignments are piling up and deadlines are like BFFs so close together. I think perseverance and determination is what i need most now. Trying to finish up my work as much as i can, without distractions so i can have my playtime when its all done. And also proving to others that i do my own work, in contrary to the ‘beliefs’ of a few particular others. No, im not so low as to do that, unlike _____. Of course right, if not where got so much time spread rumors about me.

Being in an extremely angry mood, trying to keep myself chill and constantly telling myself its okay. Im not the only one at the bus stop trying to squeeze on the sardine-packed bus, and im not the only one who takes a bloody one hour to go home. I can almost turn into a statue on the bus, trying to get home. Sigh. Life is really unbearable at times. But i think self-persuasion works. at the very least, i can manage to convince myself that travelling time = time for me to shut my eyes and rest so i can do work longer when i get home.

hmm. i can see myself making improvement.

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Is it practical to plan out the future? Because i hear people knowing what they want to do, and being so sure that it will be the path that works out correctly. But in my mind, i have all these doubts and skepticism about the future…. Maybe thats why i cant see my future.

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Yay, LNY is in a week’s time. Goodies-munching time. I hope i dont fall sick, because i always seem to mysteriously develop some sore throat right before LNY. And i’ve been drinking so much water lately, but i still feel like im so heaty. Im also so happy theres practically no last minute clothes shopping which ALWAYS happen to me EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Now i know how nice and relieving it feels to not go into a panic-attack for not having enough clothes yet.

Sometimes life just seems so ‘routine’ at times, and we go by doing things which we dont even know why we are doing. Sometimes, we are just not prepared. Feels like everything is slowly losing its meaning. Last time, it always means so much when LNY is coming. I grew up watching my grandma make love letters and other goodies, and now i still feel nothing tastes better than the ones she make. Oh well, i guess its impossible for her to do them now since its so much work. :(

& on another note, feb also means its only 2 months shy from exam preparations. I felt like i just started school last week. The good and bad thing about having my exams every semester. I feel like im a pig being rushed into the slaughtering place.
no matter what, i need to get back my focus and concentration and stop doing stupid things like sleeping and waiting for time to stop. yes?

going off to school! xo.

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